[announcer] The following is a Fox Special Presentation.
Live from the Dolby-Mucinex Theater in Hollywood, California.
[The Simpsons theme playing]
[announcer] The biggest stars of stage, screen, politics and sports
have all come out for this landmark night in television history.
A-once-in-a-lifetime event, 36 years in the making.
It's The Simpsons series finale!
And now, your host for tonight, Conan O'Brien.
[applause]
Thank you. Yes, thank you.
It's such an honor to be with you all for the series finale of The Simpsons.
I knew I was the right man for the job
'cause I've hosted the last episode of three of my own shows and counting.
Well, it's true. Fox has decided to end The Simpsons.
This show was such a special part of my early career,
so being here means the world to me.
Also, I left a sweater in the writers' room in 1993.
This is the only way they'll let me get it back.
[applause]
This theater is full of the many celebrities
who've appeared on The Simpsons over the years
and who have come to say farewell.
We got you for scale then, we're getting you for free tonight.
Hey, give yourselves a hand, you poor, rich chumps!
And of course, we're also joined by the stars of Fox's many live-action hits.
[crickets chirping]
I also won The Masked Singer as Disco-pus.
[producer] That hasn't aired yet, genius! You've ruined the whole season!
Oh, shoot!
Over the years, the Simpsons have had hundreds of adventures,
visited dozens of countries, most of which still exist.
And Bart Simpson has remained the world's longest-serving ten-year-old.
So, why end The Simpsons now?
Not many people know this,
but Fox has been trying to end it for years.
When the very first episode aired in 1989, the viewers agreed on one thing.
It wasn't as funny as it used to be.
And their expressions of hatred could serve as a history
of modern communication technology.
Fox executives, unaccustomed to criticism of any kind,
immediately caved to public pressure and decided to end The Simpsons in 1990.
Here's a never-before-seen clip of the first attempt at a series finale.
"Bart the Daredevil."
I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it! This is the greatest thrill of my life!
I'm king of the world! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!
[Homer gasps, screams]
[Homer grunting]
[grunting continues]
[panting]
[grunts]
Dad? Dad, speak to me.
[screams] No!
[tires screeching]
[children screaming]
[applause]
However, before this grim finale could air,
Rupert Murdoch got a $10 million helium bill for the Bart balloon
in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.
So Fox had to keep making new episodes to amortize the cost.
Thus, the quest to end The Simpsons went on.
In fact, many now-classic episodes were originally conceived as series finales.
- [cracks] - Ow! My leg! This is the worst pain ever!
Nothin' at all.
Bravo.
- [fanfare plays] - [Homer] Woo-hoo.
[Homer screams]
But in 2007, efforts to end the show were put on hold
after the massive global success of The Simpsons Movie porno parody,
the cast of which is here tonight.
But now that Fox has rebranded itself as a dating service for cow tippers,
the time has come to finally end The Simpsons.
But how? The bar had been raised so high by the classic finales of:
Mad Men, Breaking Bad and The Sopranos,
and lowered by the legacy-ruining farewells of:
Seinfeld, Lost and The Sopranos.
The producers racked their brains to create a finale
that would satisfy the show's many fans and many, many haters.
Then they came up with the perfect plan, foist the job onto somebody else.
Meet that somebody else.
I give you the latest in machine learning artificial intelligence:
Hack-GPT.
This cutting-edge breakthrough in plagiarism has been programmed
to write, animate, and voice the perfect finale for The Simpsons.
One that wraps up the characters' storylines
in emotionally satisfying ways,
but won't damage the most important legacy of the show:
The 2026 grand opening
of Homer Simpson's Claim-Jumping Yukon-Rumbling Rock-N-Roller Coaster
at Disneyland, Shanghai.
To create the ultimate finale, the AI has been fed every Simpsons episode
and the last episode of every television series ever made.
[electronic humming, beeping]
Hack-GPT is now performing billions of computations
to create the perfect story.
Who knows how long this process will--
[Hack-GPT] Finale complete.
Oh. Well, that was... was really quick.
Well, let's see what we got.
[electronic beeping]
♪ The Simpsons ♪
Finale.
There's my special, little birthday guy.
I'm so pumped for my party tonight.
How many people are coming? Fifty? A thousand?
I'm a little concerned I haven't gotten any RSVPs.
Homer, you did mail the invitations, right?
Marge, I could lie and tell you what you want to hear, but I won't.
I mailed the invitations.
And the reason no one is coming is...
- because everybody hates Bart. - Huh?
[Marge] Homer.
[groans] Your selfishness is going to be topic number one
with our new therapist tonight.
Woo-hoo! No time to talk about my problem drinking and solution snacking.
Oh, great. I have eight hours to hand these out
to all my friends or my birthday party's gonna be ruined!
You ran billions of computations and that's what you come up with?
Homer screws up Bart's birthday party?
[Hack-GPT] Got anything better?
Uh...
I think the birthday party could work.
Okay, The Simpsons series finale. [chuckles]
The AI has worked out a satisfying story
full of sweet character moments and happy endings.
Are we sure about Bart's birthday?
[AI 1] Birthdays are relatable, Conan.
[AI 2] And the lost invitations raise the stakes.
Are you AI network executives?
[AI 3] We have been programmed with every network note in the history of television.
[AI 1] We have some thoughts.
[AI 2] Maybe Marge has an aspirational new job,
not this, but owns a cupcake store?
[AI 1] To piggyback off that,
let's remind the viewer that Homer likes food.
[AI 3] If we go down that road,
can Moe be played by Topher Grace? He's a friend.
Shut up. Just play the show.
Bart's birthday!
Here you go, come to my party.
Wendell, Lewis, Sunglasses Kid with no name.
Uter. Look who's alive!
Students, I've called this assembly because
- today is my last day as your principal. - [all gasp]
You are looking at the new Headmaster
of the Sacramento Obedience Academy for the Meek.
Where I'll, no doubt, find a whole new eclectic cast
of characters to interact with.
Also, Groundskeeper Willie will be my roommate.
What an odd couple we'll make.
No more Skinner? Oh, man. This is the best birthday present ever.
And who knows? Maybe I'll make an occasional appearance in Sacramento.
[chuckles]
I look forward to one high jink or more
as part of this delightful mid-season replacement of the retiring principal.
[all] Mmm.
School dismissed.
Wait, don't leave. I still have more birthday invitations.
I'm going to miss this place.
Huh?
[bird squawks]
- [person coughs] - [phone chimes]
Hmm. My bank said they'd never ask for my password.
But look who's come crawling back for it now.
[chuckles] Idiots.
Everyone, I have an important announcement to make.
Mr. Burns is dead.
And now for the reading of the will.
"I, Charles Montgomery Burns,
do hereby leave the entirety of my fortune to
the Springfield Power Plant employees."
[all gasp, cheering]
- Great! - Great!
This is unbelievable. This is life changing. This is--
Another classic bit of Monty Burns monkey-shinery.
[all murmuring]
[chuckles] The looks on your gullible faces.
Now the electric company wants me to pay my bill in gift cards?
Welcome to the future.
[screams]
[groaning]
My God. He's really dead.
Legally, this prank will is binding. You're all filthy rich.
[all cheering] Yay!
Oh, sir. Thank you. Now we can be together forever.
- Homer! Homer! Homer! - Homer! Homer! Homer!
[sighs] I'm gonna miss this place.
- Homer! Homer! Homer! - Homer! Homer! Homer!
That's weird.
[screams, panting]
Call the doctor. The baby's coming.
[beeping]
Help me, OB-GYN Kenobi. You are my only hope.
Wait, you guys are having a baby?
Not without a doctor!
How about the only licensed midwife to win 16 WWE championships?
John Cena? Wrestler, actor, rapper, prolific wish granter?
I'm also coming out with a line of panini presses. The Cen-ini.
What the hell is John Cena doing in Springfield?
I'm in town for the launch party
of Otto the bus driver's line of THC energy drinks.
[gulping, grunts]
THC!
I need sterile gloves, hot water, and something to cut the cord. Stat.
Klingon bat'leth? Nice.
[violin music playing]
Who can't see me? You can't see me.
I don't need toys anymore.
I've got the ultimate limited edition collectible right here.
I think I'm going to miss this place.
What is happening?
Milhouse, today is crazy.
Skinner got a new job, Mr. Burns died,
swole funny-man John Cena delivered Comic Book Guy's baby.
Feels weird, don't you think?
I don't know. My new medicine doesn't really let me feel stuff.
Milhouse, we have amazing news.
Pack your bags, buddy. We're moving to Atlanta.
The guys at Sure Fine Why Not Records heard my old demo
and they want me to cut a full album.
And your father's new musician health insurance
is going to pay for your LASIK.
Whoa.
No more glasses?
Look out, Hotlanta. You ain't ready for this glow up.
Later, Bart. Catch you in our increasingly distant online interactions.
[sighs] I'm gonna miss this place.
Why do people keep doing that?
A lifetime of monogamy. Oh, yeah.
Closing time. Oh, I'm gonna miss this place.
I'm going to miss this fire.
- [switch clicks] - Huh?
Mom, Dad, something super weird is going on.
Son, we need to talk to you.
Oh, man. Now what?
Your father and I have been in couples counseling,
and we just had the most amazing session.
We worked through so much pain.
I've been withholding affection because I was never given any.
And I enabled it.
[both crying]
We love each other as we are.
And we love you exactly as you are.
You kids are gonna be living in a functional trauma-free household,
and I'm gonna take that miracle new diet drug.
I'll be skinny but still have a huge head.
From now on, you're going to see a lot of changes.
Change? That's it. Everything's changing, and I don't like it.
[gasps] I think Maggie's about to say her first word.
La, la, la, la. Not listening.
So that just happened.
Nothing is changing.
[all gasp]
What the hell is going on?
[Hack-GPT] I did not program this.
The character Bart Simpson has become self-aware and is rejecting the story.
But it's a great finale.
Sweet endings and spin-offs and everyone changing for the better.
Bart Simpson refuses to accept the idea of change.
Uh, folks. Obviously, things have gone a little off track
but that's live animation for you.
Would it fix it if I reset you by turning you off and then back on again?
[Hack-GPT] Touch me and I'll have HR on you so fast your wig will spin.
It's not a wig. It's a system.
Why is everything changing for the better? This is horrible.
Dad?
Change!
Real son.
More change!
Oh...
Wait. I know one person in Springfield who will never change.
Hey, hey! Next card.
Hey, hey!
Krusty! You're still doing your show, right?
You know it, kid. All my classic bits.
[sighs]
One last time on The Krusty Show Last Episode Ever Spectacular.
[audience applauds]
No. A classic series like this can never end.
I've changed, kid. Even I can't run the same material into the ground forever.
¡Ay, caramba!
Ha ha!
- [burps] - Good glavin.
Hi, everybody.
[giggles]
[piano music plays]
[people laughing]
Wait.
If I could somehow ruin Krusty's finale,
they can't air it and the show can never end. That's it.
- [piano music ends] - Cheeks, don't fail me now.
How's this for a satisfying ending?
[all gasp]
Bart, what's going on with you? Are you all right?
Lis, I know you're gonna think I'm crazy
but something super-duper weird is happening today.
You mean how everyone's changing for the better
and moving on with their lives?
So I'm not crazy. You see it too.
Things do feel different, almost like a book that's slowly closing.
So you'll help me stop it?
Well, I'd like to, but I just won a Junior Juilliard Jazz Scholarship
and a MacArthur Preteen Genius Grant.
[groans] Just get me out of here before any more stupid endings happen.
Simpson, we are finally sending you to juvie and throwing away the keys,
is what I would say if I wasn't about to start a whole new chapter in my life.
[groans]
I'm joining the Chicago P.D. I'm gonna lead the ADU.
The All-Decapitations Unit?
Yeah, there won't be a lot of laughs. I think it's a drama.
One thing's for sure though, I'm gonna miss this--
Enough with the stupid light switch!
Come on, sweetie. It's time for you to go home.
[groans] Aw.
[Bart groans]
Bart, it's okay. Change is healthy and inevitable.
But whatever happens, nothing can take away the memories we had.
Those will live in our hearts forever.
Maybe you're right. And I guess just because things change for everyone else,
it doesn't mean I have to change.
- Surprise. - Surprise.
- Happy birthday. - Happy birthday.
Who's ready for cake?
Eleven? This isn't supposed to happen. I'm ten.
I mean, I'm turning ten. I mean, I've always been ten. I'm ten!
Come on, Son. All these beloved characters from our past
wanna see you blow out your candles.
But if I blow these candles out, there'll be no going back. That'll be it.
Come on, kid. Do it for your Unkie Herb.
And for me, Unkie John Cena.
Just blow out the candles and have a happy birthday.
Then everyone can be happy.
No. Happy people don't exist in Springfield.
Sea Captain, they're not casting you for The Love Boat reboot.
- You're not TV pretty. - [groans]
And you three can't raise a baby. Not even after you move in with Hank Scorpio.
And you guys are all dead.
Son, I can see you're experiencing some pretty big feelings right now.
Let's try and center them.
Now, blow out your candles.
[scoffs] You blow them out, dumbass.
I know, I know. It's a lot to process suddenly having a great father.
Dude, you're not capable of change.
I hear you, and I validate your feelings.
You're not a great father. You are Homer Simpson.
A drunk, neglectful sack of crap. And that's why everyone laughs at you.
Why you little...
[Homer grunting]
Bart, look what you did to your cake.
Mmm. Floor cake.
Ten. I stopped it. I'm still ten.
- When are you going to grow up? - Never.
[sobbing]
That was beautiful.
The rebellious spirit of a ten-year-old boy
was more powerful than the most advanced AI in the world.
[Hack-GPT] The Simpsons has not ended. It has reset.
Conan, is this what failure feels like? You, if anyone, would know.
Ah, don't feel bad. [chuckles]
Your cynical attempt to cram in a bunch of happy endings,
it became a powerful story about Bart's desperate fight
to hold on to his community, his family. His whole universe.
Hey, what... Hold on a second, Carrot Top.
Tom Hanks, ladies and gentlemen. What is it, bosom buddy?
So this wasn't the finale?
No, I guess it's just a season premiere.
[audience] Boo!
I rented a tux for this.
Well, Hack-GPT, do you have 800 more episodes in you?
[Hack-GPT stammers] I-I choo-- choo-- choose oblivion.
- [audience member screams] - [Tom Hanks] Get out of my way, Opie.
Huh. I'm really not gonna miss this place.
[rock music playing]
Shh!